so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
