Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
