Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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