Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
