Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
