no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
