Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
3pm strippers are depressing
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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