please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
