Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
