i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
