Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
