Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
