I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I'm at about main and main street
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
