Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
