the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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