I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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