maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
You took a bar mat shot.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
