definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
