Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
