were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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