Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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