Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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