super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
How's work?
Spinning.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
