Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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