I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
