You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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