you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
