I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Randomize
