how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Randomize
