there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
