He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
