Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
