Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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