if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
