I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
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