How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
i love accidental penises.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
