I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
