well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
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