if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Randomize
