are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
