i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
