Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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