I am full of burrito and curiosity
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
