You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
