Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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