My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
