I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize