I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
