you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
