If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
