I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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