My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
