Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
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