I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
