It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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