Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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