Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
