Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Randomize