fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
In America we eat man semen.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
