There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
