He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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