"it" just moved
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize