this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
