It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
