i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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