how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
